Many of us normally view physical touch as just a part of the five love languages and probably not really necessary for many people. At the same time, regardless of whether you consider yourself a touching person or not, non-sexual physical contact is important in any human’s life.
The Reality of Touch Starvation
While some of us are more touchy-feely than others, those who don’t really enjoy physical contact—surprise.—can be impacted by a lack of touch, also known as touch starvation or skin hunger. We all respond well to some form of touch and go awry without it.
At a Glance
Touch starvation is when our bodies don’t get enough physical contact from others, even in relationships. This can become a highly perilous condition for our mental health if it is not recognized and long, continuous periods lacking touch are dealt with. A couple of hugs in the day certainly do make much of a difference in our lives. Should one feel withdrawn or incapable of attaining necessary touch needs, consider reaching out to a mental health professional.
Touch Starvation: Definition
Touch starvation is what occurs when we go for too long without bodily touch from another person. It can be an intense, acute feeling or only a subtle background sensation to Dr. Patrice Le Goy.
If you have ever been in a nearly touchless relationship, you know how aggravating it can be. Many adults turn to their partner for affection and physical contact, so when that’s absent, the relationship suffers a little. But why do we crave touch so much?
The Need to Be Touched
Humans crave touch all their lives. As personality, culture, and various medical conditions may cause vast amounts of variation in the frequency needed, humans are hardwired to need physical touch.
This need starts from birth. Babies, having a good deal of skin-to-skin contact, grow to develop bonds between parents and children. This very basic need for touch, which persists across our lifespan, permits us comfort and reduces anxiety as it releases the “love hormone” oxytocin and reduces cortisol levels within us.
Impact due to touch deprivation
When deprived of touch, our well-being suffers. Touch starvation can further manifest itself in emotional and physiological symptoms that range from depression to stress and anxiety. If we are missing physical contact on a regular basis, this can lead to it being very hard to keep track of our emotions and feel satiated in a relationship. The lack of necessary hormones such as oxytocin contributes even more to these problems.
Causes and Contributing Factors
There are a variety of ways in which touch starvation can come about during both childhood and adulthood.
Childhood Care
The absence of touch in earlier life may expose one to long-lasting problems, which may broadly include onerous relationships and emotional isolation. Adults who underwent touch starvation in childhood might find it unsafe or uncomfortable to pursue physical intimacy.
Loss of Relationship
One may undergo the loss of a relationship due to an acute feeling of touch starvation. The sudden disappearance of a regular partner gives jolts to the body.
COVID-19 Societal Changes
The pandemic changed everything about our lives, including our physical touches. Now, the fear of contact and maintaining social distancing has led to a highly acute case of touch hunger. This in itself explains the motive behind the need to touch physically.
Relationship Issues
Unresolved conflicts and issues in the relationship can reduce the level of physical touch. This means that addressing touch starvation in a relationship is done on grounds formed by clear and kind communication. It helps to discuss one’s observations and checking on your partner regarding issues that may be causing non-touch.
The Science Behind Touch
That’s why it is so vital for human beings—because of the science of touch. Touch releases oxytocin, a hormone that reduces stress and makes a person feel happy and attached. Sometimes, oxytocin is referred to as the “love hormone” because it is highly released during activities like hugging, touching, or any close form of physical contact.
Touch also reduces the level of cortisol, which is the major human stress hormone. High levels of cortisol can lead to a wide array of health complications, including anxiety, depression, and heart disease. Therefore, touch can also promote mental wellbeing and general health.
Practical Ways to End Touch Starvation
Fortunately, skin hunger can be satisfied in various ways. Dr. Le Goy has some practical ways to do so:
- Hugging or requesting hugs from loved ones
- Holding hands
- Massages, self-massage, or professional
- Contact sports
- Petting/playing with pets
- Attending cuddle parties—this is when strangers get together and touch each other with permission
The Role of Therapy
Such therapy can offer ways to relieve touch starvation and regulate emotions. A therapist will help you realize whether it is skin hunger that you are going through and offer practical tips on how to physically touch others.
Therapy could also be surrogate partner therapy, whereby a therapist and client work along with a surrogate partner to help the client understand and find solutions around issues of physical touch.
Addressing Touch Starvation
Touch starvation is terrible and attacks our minds and feelings. Our need for touch starts at birth and goes through to the end, which keeps the hormones of stress low and maintains emotional well-being. If left unattended, touch starvation can escalate into long-term depression, chronic stress, and anxiety.
If you think that you might be suffering from touch starvation, then it may be well worth investigating. Engage in activities that involve this sort of touch—like hugging a loved one or playing with your pet—and note how it makes you feel. If the difference is remarkable, then that may well be worth taking further steps to address and heal touch starvation.
Coping Strategies for Touch Starvation
Other ways to overcome touch starvation include the following:
- Self-care rituals: Institute gentle self-touch-based self-care rituals for applying lotion, taking warm baths, or other mindfulness and relaxation techniques that focus on the body.
Virtual Connections: These can in no way substitute touching, but may give the emotional feeling of being near and reduce feelings of loneliness. Video calls, support groups, and virtual events could be helpful in holding on to social bonds. - Creative Activity: Painting, dancing, or playing instruments may fulfill a person and may also relax a bit of the tension. These also work as good distractions from a lack of touch.
- New Hobbies: Interests or hobbies bring a sense of living purpose and can be fun. Ranging from gardening and cooking to studying some new skill, the activity that brings a tremendous amount of enjoyment will assist in avoiding touch starvation.
Awareness and Support
As such, awareness of touch starvation should be built, and open conversations developed on it. The more people learn about the importance of physical touch and can operate with that in mind, the more Rochelleelle will be destigmatized. Mutual support and community can also go a long way toward lessening the damaging effects of touch starvation.
Final Thoughts
Physical touch is essential in our fundamental functioning, and acknowledging the same is of equal importance. The closer that we can come to educating ourselves about touch starvation and taking steps to ensure physical contact is frequently part of our lives, the better way we are on to mental welfare and a truer sense of connection in our relationships. Particularly if you find your way struggling, do not be afraid of seeking professional help to guide your way towards a better, more connected life.
Touch starvation can be overcome by certain practicalities, emotional help, and professional advice. By creating an intricate consciousness of the fact that touch is an important aspect of human existence and by choosing to regard the vivid foundation of physical interaction, we can significantly improve our lives and create further overall wellness and much healthier connections.
Conclusion
Moreover, touch starvation can happen to each and every one of us, including people in relationships. It has numerous effects on both emotional and physical issues regarding health; however, certainly, how to deal with and alleviate them is not far fetched. We can fight touch starvation by understanding the power of touch, seeking practical solutions, and considering professional support to enhance our well-being.
It is within each and every one of us to feel a need for touch, and being aware of that is the first step toward a now healthier, more connected life. Be it through simple gestures of love or even in more structured ways, like therapy, touching starvation is dealt with for the sake of our mental, emotional, and physical health.